Finally! 204!  I've re-lost the re-gained four pounds and left 205 behind. 63 pounds gone. 39 pounds to go!! I love thinking about the numbers that are no more. I don't have 102 pounds to go, or 90 or 80 or 70 or 60 or 50 or even 40 - I have 39 pounds to go. I'm in the 30's!! Then the 20's, then the 10's then the 0's!!!!!!!!!5 pounds to ONEderland. Had a great day yesterday full of fruit and protein and water and exercise. And I plan to do the same today.
I'm back to journaling my food and exercise daily - it's just too easy to justify stuff (eating, not exercising) if I don't write it down. I'm proud of me - excited for ONEderland.  Five easy pounds away! Well, maybe not easy - but I'll get there.  One fruity, veggie, proteiny, sweaty pound at a time.

Three days of absolutely perfect weather. Sunny with a cooling breeze. How lucky are we? Yesterday I decided to have a day of not thinking about food at all. I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted. Went out to breakfast and had a yummy veggie omelet - by choice! That's what my tummy wanted. And toast. Later on had a few shrimp. Someone left a bag of those orange crispy things near me - the ones that leave powder all over your hands - and I had too many of them. Then a dozen clams and some salt potatoes both cooked outside, yum. Ended up with some cocopops - (16 cal each) a fudgesicle, and some cashews. Not a bad day for a permission to eat day. Didn't really go off the track too much except for the orange things and the potatos. And, I didn't gain weight!
Out in my rowing shell yesterday and today - going a little farther each day. Feeling a little stronger each day. Still at 206, still in my baggy 16's - but as of this morning am back on the big push to get to ONEderland. Maybe I'll start taking bets for when I'll get there. Make a little money on the side! I can feel how easy it would be to accept this weight as my weight and stay here. Up a few, down a few, with 206 my anchor weight. But I have 41 pounds to lose to make my goal of 102 - to make it to 165. It's not time to stop, not time to go easy on myself.
Did you see the Biggest Loser pictures in People magazine? Michael looked so much better in the magazine than he did on TV. Airbrushing? But if he can drop half his weight, then I can certainly hang in there to get rid of this last 41. So my plan for today is tons of fruit, water and a little bit of protein. Kind of a cleansing day to get rid of all that chemical junk I ate yesterday. And no alcohol!! Living on a lake is a dream come true for us - but there is alcohol everywhere. No  matter where you go you get offered a drink. The only way this is going to work is if I stick to water. Swimming in it, rowing on it, and drinking it!

Having trouble getting this last regained pound off. But I feel great so I'm focusing on that. Neat thing at dinner tonight. Had dinner and great conversation with a friend and ordered the Cobb salad. And it arrived and was HUGE with an eually HUGE garlic roll. And I took more than half of it home and didn't eat the roll. oops - wait - I tried the roll and found it bland and non-descript so set it aside. And only ate what my tummy wanted. And now, several hours later still feel full and happy about not stuffing myself. So I may not be in ONEderland, but I'm finding it easier to focus on the good stuff instead of the number on the scale.  I'm still tempted by stuff all the time and sometimes I eat some of the tempting stuff but not like I used to. Not out of control.
Memorial Day weekend. Plenty of time to get out in my rowing shell and enjoy the water. Time to garden and go for long walks or bike rides. Time for friends and cruises on the lake. And will there be food and alcohol? Sure, lots of both. But I feel ready for all of those choices. Ready to sail through the weekend without wearing most of it on my hips.
Will I make my goal of ONEderland in time for my trip on June 9th? Probably not. But I won't be uncomfortable in that airplane seat. I won't be worried about spilling over into someone else's space on that plane. I'll happily be taking my size 16's (my very roomy size 16's) with me. And eventually, some time this summer, I will own those size 14's.

206 again today but I know why. First there were the two cocktails I had - gorgeous day, good friends. lots of laughter and two drinks. And I have to tell you I loved every sip. And then dinner happened. One of those nights where we were out of everything so subs seemed like a good idea. And I ordered well - small turkey and lettuce and tomato and hnoey mustard - but when they arrived it was a large instead of a small and I ate half with every intention of wrapping up the other half - especially since it was on white breatd because they didn't have wheat - but something happened (me) and the whole thing disappeared. Guess I should have wrapped up the other half before I started eating. Not sure if that would have helped since my two generous drinks were in charge of my decision making for the evening. But unlike before when I would have eaten the sub and then gone scouting in the kitchen for anything and everything more, I stopped at the sub. And it was really really good. Just felt satisfying to bite into something with a little bit more heft to it than lettuce. And, I didn't gain any weight. And have had a great 'program' day today.
I got a huge amount of work done today on a work project that I've been procrastinating about - and it felt great to accomplish so much. I find I'm doing that a lot lately - accomplishing more, staying on track, getting to the finish line - all because, I think, I'm not suffereing the ups and downs and hangovers of a sugar based lifestyle. I wake up in the morning and feel great and I work my way through the day and feel great and I go to bed and I feel great. Sound boring? Not in the least. Instead of being in a coma/bad mood/aches and pains (not to mention the guilt) fog, I'm here. All 206 pounds of me. Which hopefully will be 205 tomorrow since I've got this HUGE goal for June 9th and I'm no closer than when I first set the goal a few days ago. But I'm still here!