Have missed two days at the gym due to busy schedule and I actually miss going.  Gotta get there tomorrow. Helped a friend paint her dining room yesterday and I did work up a sweat doing that - but it's not the same. 228 this morning so am pleased that I maintained. My ten pounds a month goal is probably not going to work. I don't want to set myself up for disappointment and then eat because I didn't get there. Went to a party today where most people were drinking and it didn't take me long to figure out that it's not a lot of fun to be around drinking if you're not taking part. ANd I just don't want to waste my calories on booze. I still enjoyed myself and had a good time - but it definitely had an effect on my time there. Didn't want to have my not drinking become an issue so I fixed my own drinks which could pass as vodka and something but was really diet sprite. Lots of food including an enormous box of candy but I stuck to my plan. Had some shrimp and some cashews. Roast beef on kimmelwick was served and I had mine without the roll. The beef was really yummy - something I haven't had much of lately.
I'm surprised by how often I miss sugar. There are times when I'm mouth-hungry - just want something to treat myself with. There are times when I'm tired or sad or mad or blue and I want to treat myself  or fix myself with sugar. And knowing that I can't ever again do that sometimes makes me sad. It is at those times that I try to make myself remember how great I feel. Although I'm only a 39/102 done with my journey, I feel ten years younger. Getting home from that party today it was really cold and I ran down a flight of stairs to get to my front door. I ran! I remember worrying about the gym - about whether or not I would be comfortable there - and I never feel like that anymore. I'm just one more person getting or staying healthy. I also feel hopeful which is something that was desparately missing from my life before - my life of binging. When you are caught in the guilt-denail cycle of binging there is no hope. Now every morning is an opportunity to have a healthy day. So I may never again have sugar but I have hope that the rest of my life will be full of activiites that I could never have participated in at 267. I think hope is a whole lot more appetizing than sugar ever was.