Geneen Roth who wrote Women, Food and God was on Oprah again today - or I should say they reran the show she did earlier this year. And i watched it again because it had such a big impact on me. And I took away something different this time. I have often talked about how - when I eat well and exercise - I can almost hear my motor running. And I've also talked about how much happier I am when I do both of those things. I feel more alive and much more present in my life. When I am not binging, I feel so clear and can see the direction I need to go in. And they talked about it today. They called it an aliveness or a connection. When I allow myself to 'feel the full extent of emotions' instead of stuffing them down with food, I feel alive instead of comatose. It feels as if 'everything's possible.' Geneen says that 'we are hungry for something that we can not name.' Oprah talked about one reason that she eats - when she has to say no to someone and then she feels like she has disppointed them and that they will be upset with her. She feels that if she doesn't please that person, she will somehow be destroyed. And so she eats. They also talked a lot about the varioius experiences of childhood - abuse - and how we all need to remember that that pain is done. Over with. That you can take care of yourself now. Protect yourself. And Geneed talked a lot about treating ourselves with kindness - espeically when we are looking in the mirror. She said, "Only kindness ever makes sense."  They and some audience members talked about how the question with almost everyone with an addiction is, Am I good enough? That that is at the bottom of everyone's soul. I'm not enough. I'm not good enough. Nobody lkes me the way I am.
Only kindness. I like that.