I've been doing some thinking about this journey I've been on that's taking a lot longer than I had anticipated. The good news is that I'm still on the journey, still trying. But when I look back at the ups and downs, I realized - or I guess better said remembered - that I have done my very best when I spend time at the gym. I stopped my membership back in April because I thought - wrongly - that with the good weather I would do the same work I had been doing in the gym, outside. Wrong. It was sporatic at best. I'd kayak here and there. Or bike here and there. But I wasn't steady with it. So this Friday I'm rejoining my gym - convenient to work, clean, well organized and enough machines so that I don't feel crowded. The plan is six days a week with Sundays off. Cardio all six, weights every other. I think when I work out, my body really wants to eat well. It feels awful to work out after a binge. Once I get over the initial aches and pains that will come with getting back into shape, I will lose the aches and pains that go along with NOT exercising - the aches and pains of being a couch potato.
I also ordered the book Unchain your Brain. It was talked about on Dr. Phil last week in connection with a young man who was addicted to risky behaviors - any dare that his friends offered, he would meet. The author of this book, explained that the dare was similar to heroine in that he was seeking that next high. So, too, for me with food. So I'll keep you posted on that when it arrives and I have time to read it. Of course, I have to mention that I also ordered Tim Gunn's book - part memoir, part fashionista. 
Not a bad mantra from Tim for this journey - Make it work.