Have been away from this blog for a while because we have a brand new delicious baby in our famlly - my oldest daughter's and her husband's second daughter - so I've been there helping out and very happily so. She is beautiful and perfect and so very welcome and loved. She is another reason - an excellent reason - to regain my health. The struggle continues. Away from my routine I've managed to gain a few - no surprise. Any time I deviate from the plan the pounds come flying back at me - but it's because of the choices I made. I could have worked harder to stay on the plan. But it's a new day, a new affirmation of intent and I'm back on the plan. Have a Spring fling party and a brithday party to attend today so I need to be ready for both of those. The weather has finally reached seasonal temperatures here so that I can now ride my bike every day. Last year I set a goal to ride around our lake - about 20 miles - but never accomplished it, so this year that plan is back in. If I go a bit further every day, eventuallly I will make the half way mark and around the horn I'll go. 
When I started this blog and this journey I never thought this process would take so long but I also never thought I would learn as much about myself as I have over these last many months. I've examined my childhood, my relationships, my habits and learned from all of that study. I don't have all of the whys yet - the most frustrating one being why do I continue to eat if the painful parts of my life are long over? I'm beginning to realize - although haven't accepted it yet - that I may never know the answer to that question. Jillian said in a recent Biggest Loser "This isn't about who you weren't." And I need to keep that in mind. I wasn't well loved as a child or well treated - but that's "who I weren't" not who I am. I need to keep that foremost in my mind as I go forward in this brand new partly sunny partly spring-y day.