Day One did not go so well. I planned to have a great day - good food, lots of exercise, positive thoughts. Good start at breakfast - veggie omelet and whole wheat toast. I asked for dry toast but it arrived swimming in butter and of course, instead of taking charge and politely sending it back, I ate it. All four pieces. Had an ok sort of a day but avoided exercise by filling my day with my to-do list - letting that take priority over what I need to focus on which is my health.

And then I watched Oprah. Did you see it? First Kirstie Alley looking huge and admitting that she gained back all of her weight after Jenny Craig plus ten more. And how mad she is at her self for being back in her old super fat clothes. She showed how she took all of her gym equipment out of her house and stored it in her garage. She now has moved it back in to her dining room -- she has like 12 expensive pieces of apparatus. But she hasn't started using any of it yet. She and Oprah chatted about their histories of yo-yo dieting -- both of them getting each other so quickly. We fat girls, we get it. Kirstie talked about some paparazzi guy at the airport yelling, "Fat ass! Turn around and let me shoot you." I know how much that hurts. I have been called that name by a stranger in a parking lot. And even though I had never seen the man before, I had no connection to him and would probably never see him again, he made me cry. Why are we so hung up on outward appearances? Why is there only one standard of beauty?

Oprah's next guest was this guy who weighed 1100 pounds. Seriously - he is in the Guiness Record Book. And then he lost most of it only to gain every single pound back. Unbelievable. Kirstie, this big guy, Oprah and me - we all do the same thing. Diet till we almost make it to our goal - look in the mirror and say, "Hey, you look pretty good - Let's eat!" And we celebrate ourselves right back into the plus sizes.

I think the most important thing the 1100 pound man said was when Oprah asked him if he ever considered gastric bypass surgery. He said that it would not work for him because where he needed the bypass was in his head - that's where his problem in. He said his stomach doesn't get hungry or full it is his head that needs the work. Me, too.

Ok - goals for tomorrow. Eat less, eat healthy, move more.