I just finished reading Jodi Picoult's newest - Handle With Care - the beautifully written story of a family whose daughter is born with OI - more familiarly known as brittle bone desease. One of the characters in the book suffers from bulemia - an eating disorder that involves binging and purging. On page 418 Ms. Picoult writes:
"Unlike anorexia, which was about being perfect all the time, bulemia was rooted in self-hatred. ...a dirty little secret that added to the cycle of anger at herself for not being who she really wished she could be." 
  I believe that that is what overeating and binging is all about - self hatred. The reason for the self-hatred isn't as important as the recognition that the anger is the cause of the eating disorder. And for me the only way to dispell that anger is to exercise. This past week I watched the finale of the Biiggest Loser and I loved the show. Loved that Vicky did not win the at home 100 thou. (Sorry Vicky but your game playing was too much for me) Wished that Liz had been in the final three. Loved that Danny was the Biggest Loser. Thrilled that Abby seems to have rejoined the living. Love that two-season Dan looked so terrific. But what resonated for me was the short clip about Chey.  She was in the gym with Jillian and as she was put through an excruciating workout, Jillian asked her question after question finally revealing that Chey thought she was unloveable. Jillian helped her see that when that thought was formed, she was a child. A child who could not be held accountable for the actions of the adults who mistreated her. To see the hope in Chey's eyes at the finale, her beautiful smile, her continuing dedication to her journey back to health was so remarkably inspiring. Subway has promised to give her a thousand dollars for each additional pound she loses before the next finale - and although that is lovely and generous - it's not the point. The point is that she has gotten in touch with her anger and has found a way to work it out instead of covering it up with food.
I don't have a lot of extra money. Who does in this economy? But tomorrow I'm going looking for a trainer. Someone who will put me through the same misery that those on the Biggest Loser Ranch experience. Because it seems to me that when each of the contestants is near their breaking point physically, they then break through to the cause of their own addictions.
 And the healing begins.