235 this morning!!! Loving that five. Wanted to be at 229 by the end of January. Probably not going to make it. Have to keep reminding myself with Dr. Phil's quote - something like  'you can't control how fast you lose the weight, but you can control what you put in your mouth.' And I am controlling the food. I'm in charge of it now instead of the other way around. Kind of silly when you thnk about it - a grown woman allowing food to lead her around. So, no more of that.
Being at the gym the past few days, I realize that by walking at my current rate of 3.1 or 3.2 or 3.3 - I'm going to burn off about 295 calories in an hour. What is that? Like six potato chips. Or two or three bites of a burger. But knowing how little I burn is really helping me because it's making me look at the calorie content of what I'm eating and asking myself the question, "Do I really want to eat this?" "Is it worth {insert mathmatically derived number of calories here} ??? And so far the answer has been no. Yesterday I did 40 minutes on the treadmill and another twenty on the stationary bike. So a full hour at the gym. (I did look at the rowing machine and sort of gave it a little wave but I didn't go anywhere near it.) I'm liking lots of things about the gym - I'm starting to feel empowered just like I remembered from doing this before. I like the way I feel a little bit achey when I move like my body is doing more than sitting in my recliner chair. It's like my muscles are slowing waking up and saying, "Whoa, what just happened?"'
Now to the really odd thing that I just did. I had a wonderful day today full of family and fun and no time to get to the gym. And I knew it was going to be that kind of a day. Went to a mall during part of the day and walked a bit - but it was crowded with school being out today so wasn't able to really walk fast. When I got home and had dinner, I was still ok with not going to the gym. I've been every day. I'm meeting my friend there tomorrow so I know that's a done deal - but as I sat there and watched the Bachelor (yes, I know it's pathetic that I watch the show but I do and let me just say what took him so long to get rid of Michelle?) I started to feel bad. Not guilty - but feeling worried that if I didn't do something today would it be even easier to say no to the gym the next really busy day I have? So, I got out of my chair and marched around my den back and forth in front of the tv for 40 minutes. (watched him give Elizabeth the boot - what was with all that don't kiss me stuff?) And since I was all by myself, I was really swinging my arms around and I actually got in a pretty good workout. So off to bed in a while with no food guilt and no no-exercize guilt. And one less pound to weigh me down.