Did you see the guy on Oprah today? 546 pounds and he was young - late teens maybe, early 20's. We got to watch his life at home with his less than supportive dad and pretty normal sized family members. Got to see his misery - how completely overwhelmed he was. And then his family with the help of a TV show staged an intervention (his dad admitted to his failings as a parent, his siblings told him how scared they were that he would die) and off he went to rehab. Over the last two years he has lost about 250 pounds. But what I want to focus on is the secret he was hiding. I believe that every bing eater - and he is definitely a binger - is stuffing food down to blur and hide their own emotions and to cover the secrets of thier own past that they are unable to face. This guy's secret is that he is gay and because of his religion, and his family in particular his dad, he was so afraid to live his life as a gay man that he ate himself almost to death. Therapy helped him discover his own truth and live his own life. He was able to tell his parents and eventually gained their support. The whole show was about addiction - his, an alcoholic's and a heroin addict. I think some people believe that a food addiction is either a myth or not a big deal. That if people would just push away from the table or eat a salad once in a while, the problem would disappear. But when the heroin addict was talking about living his life in a blur - focused on finding the money for his next hit and when the alcoholic talked about how her next drink was more important than the needs of her children and husband - I understood. There have been so many minutes that I have missed out on in my life because instead of enjoying the picnic or the party or the conversation or the sunset - I was thinking about where and when and what my next binge would be. I don't stick needles in my veins and I don't drink till I pass out - but I allow (allowed) food to take over my life. Allowed it to lead and influence my decisions. Allowed it to cloud my perspective, allowed it to take me away from family and friends. I won't get those minutes back, but I can decide to never let food be in charge again. As I stop stuffing food on my secrets, my true emotions will emerge and I will get to be the true me.
235 this morning - again. I must be on the three steps forward two steps back diet plan.