Finally! Funny to be so excited about a number on the scales that means I am still 69 pounds over weight - but it's progress. Every new number confirms that the effort I am making in food and exercise are doing the trick for me. Love that 4 - but now of course I want a 3.
Went to a lunch meeting today. Met two women at a restaurant - the kind where you need to stand in front of a huge hard-to-read menu and make up your mind with all of the other people in line breathing down your neck. Something different happened today. Just a little thing but one more new thing to add to my new life. In the past, I would have been so concerned by the needs of the people waiting in line, that I would have ordered quickly and would have most likely not gotten what I really wanted to have. Being this heavy, I don't like being in anyone's way - that makes me the center of attention visually which I avoid. But I didn't do that today. As soon as I realized I couldn't read the board - or that it would take me a while to stand there and squint my eyes at it - and I took in the line of people forming behind me - I at first was going to quickly order the soup whether I wanted it or not - but it was Cream of Asperagus and anything with cream in it is probably high in both calories and sodium. So I simply turned to the woman behind me and said, "Why don't you go ahead of me while I make up my mind?" She was happy to go ahead of me and I created the time I needed to make my decision. My order? A multi grain bagel with turkey and a ton of vegetables. When I got my plate the server had not only made my sandwich beautifully but had surrounded it with cukes and carrots and lettuce and grape tomatoes. Yummy. My point here is that I didn't settle. I think fat people settle in their lives. We settle for wearing huge sizes. We settle for a life spent on the couch watching dumb tv. We settle in our relationships. We settle by not being able to participate in activiites that we once loved. And we settle by worrying about what other people are thinking instead of living our lives with thoughtfulness and attention to our own needs.
Today I didn't settle. I'm sensing a new theme here!